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The Misterious Voice

During a very humid and rainy night, a lamenting voice was saying: “Please someone, help, I need a hand here. I need someone to push!”

Mary woke up and said: “George wake up. Wake up George. There is a man outside who needs help. I think his car broke down and he needs someone to push it. Go and see, maybe you can help”

George says: “Oh c’mon Mary, I’m tired and it’s raining. Let someone else do it.”

Mary very obfuscated says: “George! The man needs a help. Remember what the priest said in the church. We must be helpful”

Then George gets up, puts his shoes and a coat on, grabs an umbrella and goes out seeking for the mysterious voice…

A while later, George comes back home, very mad and saying: “I will not listen to you again!”

“Why? What happened? Why are you so mad? Did you help the man and He wasn’t grateful?” Mary says.

And George screams: “No. I went out and there was a drunken man in a park swing asking for someone to push him! That bastard!”

Videos and More

Hi everyone.

I've been quite busy lately making a few videos that I'm positive you guys will love.

Stay tuned because I will have new videos, a brand new blog with tutorials and much more jokes and pranks.

The Epileptic Bunny

2 Pounds of Beans

James’ mom calls him: “James! I need you to go to the market and get me 2 pounds of beans! But don’t you forget, 2 pounds of beans!”

 

“Yes mom” says James.

So he goes to the market, saying to himself: “2 pounds of beans… 2 pounds of beans…”

On his way, James sees one of his friends; sees a gorgeous woman walking on the other side of the street; watched a guy playing a beautiful song on a sax…

Finally, he gets to the market and tells to the clerk: “Hi, I need 2 pounds of… hmm… 2 pounds of… ehh… of….”

“2 pounds of what?” says the clerk a bit stressed since there was a huge line up…

James still hesitating repeats: “2 pounds of… hmmm…”

“2 pounds of what?” yells the clerk, “2 pounds of lead??”

“Oh yes, 2 pounds of lead, how could I forget!?” James answers.

So he goes home and brings the 2 pounds of “beans”

His mom takes the bag and without noticing it, puts its container in the cauldron.

Later that afternoon, his mom calls him back: “James! I do not want you to buy anymore beans at that place you get me?”

“Why is that mom?” asks James.

The mother answers: “Because. Your grandma farted and killed the cat!”

John in the Bathroom

John has intestinal pain, and runs to the bathroom.

While he is sitting on the toilet, he hears a voice coming from the next cubicle saying: “Hello”

John is a bit curious but decides to keep quiet.

Then he hears the voice again: “Hello”

So this time he answers back: “Hello”

The man says: “What are you doing?”

John answers: “What do you think I’m doing? I’m having a shit!”

Then the man says: “Honey, I call you after because there is an idiot who thinks I’m talking to him!”

The Dying Mother in Law

James’ mother in law is about to die. She slowly turns her head to look through the window and painfully says: “Such a beautiful sunset!”

James says: “Please, keep focused. Look at the tunnel, you see the tunnel…”

The Rooster and The Little Chicken

The rooster approaches his son, the little chicken saying: “Son. Today, I will teach you how to reproduce. I am an expert in the matter, so I want you listen and observe everything I do.”

While the little chicken carefully listens to his dad, the rooster calls all the Hens and asks them to line up, one next to the other.

The rooster says: “Look carefully mi son” and starts humping the Hens, one by one, saying this: “Excuse me Hen; Excuse me Hen…”

Then it’s the little chicken’s turn…

So he goes saying: “Excuse me Hen; Excuse me Hen” just like his dad had taught him.

A couple of minutes later, the rooster a bit tired kept on saying: “Ex… cuse… me… Hhhheen…  Excuuu…. se… me… Hhhhhen…”

And the little chicken: “Excuse me Hen; Excuse me Hen; Excuse me Dad; Excuse me Hen”